Mastering Stress
If there is one word that characterizes today's world, it's stress: job stress, role stress, stressful relationships, life stress! The primary sources of stress in our lives are:
- external events
- conflicts in relationships
- internal pressures and expectations
- life crises
Often, the events themselves are not as important in determining stress levels as our emotional reaction to them. In fact, stress is more than just an event; it consists of the event (called the stressor) plus how we feel about the situation, How we interpret it, and what we do to cope with it.
Managing Stress: Stress management is a juggling act; most people can handle one or twosources of stress well, perhaps even three. effectively coping with stress can cause an exhilaration known as eustress. But when there are too many stressors, or they continue for too long, you can begin to experience distress.
This occurs when...
- you don't feel in control
- you see few or no options for handling the situation
- stress is prolonged
- there are too many simultaneous stressors.
Experts estimate that 50-80% of all physical illness is stressrelated. In fact, stress is the #1 health problem among Americans age 20-65. Stress affects body metabolism in much the same way as physical exertion -- with rapid heartbeat, rising blood pressure, and shortness of breath. Under chronic stress, these reactions can cause high blood pressure, ulcer, elevated cholesterol levels, and heart disease.
Job Stress: Job stress is an increasingly serious problem for both employers and employees; it now accounts for 10% of all worker's compensation claim. Although technological and environmental factors such as computer terminals, noise levels, and fluorescent lighting contribute to job stress, the primary culprits appear to be psychological factors such as lack of appreciation, job instability, social isolation, and vague job descriptions High job demand, low control over the work, and lack of decision-making power are a losing combination that creates job stress.
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Parenting
It's a job that requires very special skills but no training. There are no licenses, certifications or exams, no application, no interview and no salary except love. Yet it "employs" 90% of Americans over 40 and 58% of those under 40. The job is parenting, and it may well be the most challenging job that any of us will ever have.
The complexities of parenthood can feel overwhelming to even the most capable people. With the pressures of today's world. It is a more difficult task than ever before. However, developing skills in certain key areas such as communication and discipline can do much to reduce or even prevent some common parenting problems.
Communication: One of the biggest pitfalls for parents and their children is communication. Miscommunication or lack of any communication at all quickly generates problems that only escalate with time. Keeping communication lines open and clear is vital for good parent - child relationships.
Good communication starts with good listening. Active listening involves more than just acknowledging that your child is speaking to you. To be an active listener, begin by rephrasing what your child says to you: repeat what your child says in your own words, perhaps adding how you think she/he felt about what was said. This lets your child know that you heard and understood what he said. You can follow the rephrasing with a gentle question to encourage further response or elaboration from the child. For example, your child says to you, "I hate school! I'm not going back". Instead of saying. "Going to school is a law", a reflective reply might be, "You seem really upset about school. Did something bad happen today?".
Nonverbal communication is also important. Body language often tells more of a story than the words do. Commenting on a child's non-verbal cues, such as a smile or a frown, is an invitation to share the feelings behind the expression.
Discipline: Discipline and punishment are not necessarily synonymous. Discipline is a system of guidelines designed to help children learn and adhere to standards of behavior. When properly applied, discipline produces self-reliant, self-controlled, functional adults.
Discipline is always a balancing act between too much and too little. Studies have shown that children of authoritarian parents may end up with low self-esteem and be unable to make decisions, while permissive parenting leaves a child lacking in structure and security.
Single Parents
One in every five children under 18 lives in a one-parent family - 9.2 million children with mothers, and close to 900,000 with fathers. While single parenthood may be the result of death, divorce or teenage pregnancies, in the last decade choosing to be a single parent has become increasingly more common.
Adjusting to Divorce: 50% of all marriages today end in divorce; half of these involve children. How do single parents and their children adapt to and create new definitions of "family"? Parents who are single because of death, divorce or separation may feel angry or resentful towards their former spouse.
Young Single Parents: Young single mothers between 12 and 18 are the highest-risk group of single parents. These pregnancies are almost always unplanned and too often, the girls decide)or are forced to) drop out of school to give birth and care for their babies. Education is the most important factor in determining how a single parent will fare economically. 44% of single parents below the poverty line didn't finish high school.
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