Rape
One in three women will be raped in her lifetime, but only one in 10 of those raped will report it -- and in an estimated 70-80% of reported rapes, the rapist is someone the woman knows -- a boyfriend, neighbor, family friend.
Rape is a crime of violence. It is not an act of sexual gratification, but an angry and violent expression of a desire to dominate and hurt someone else using sex as a weapon. Most rapes involve a female victim, but men are often raped too, but rarely report it for fear of having their masculinity and sexuality questioned.
Rape is any type of forced sexual contact without consent between two or more people, regardless of sexual or marital status. The sexual contact may involve the sex organs of one or both, including penetration, however slight, of the vagina or anus by a penis, hand, or other object. There are many different kinds of rape and different circumstances in which it occurs...
*Stranger Rape: Commonly called the "blitz rape" because the rapist appears from nowhere, and after the crime, quickly disappears.
*Date Rape: Occurs during a planned meeting, when the male becomes interested in sex and attempts to seduce his date. When she resists, he uses verbal threats and/or physical force to compel her. Date rape victims usually have impaired reflexes due to drug or alcohol intoxication.
*Acquaintance Rape: Forced sex between a victim and an assailant she may have seen or met on several occasions prior to the assault, but whom she doesn't know well.
*Marital Rape: Laws making marital rape illegal did not begin to change until 1975. Most states now have laws recognizing forcible sex without consent a crime even within a marriage. A few, however, still consider it illegal only when the married couple is separated and not living together.
Rape victims experience an array of feelings in definable stages following the attack:
PHASE ONE typically lasts a few days. Victims are still in shock and experience...
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Denial, a primary defense mechanism of many survivors and
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Physical stress symptoms such as headaches, nausea, vomiting and skin rashes.
PHASE TWO occurs for 6-12 weeks after the attack when victims experience...
- Fear of death or of seeing the rapist again.
- Anxiety triggered by sounds, smells or places that remind the victim of the rape or the rapist.
- Loss of self-esteem; feeling soiled, used, and worthless.
- Guilt and self-blame
- Sexual dysfunction from the apprehension and discomfort when faced with any physical closeness.
- Anger towards people who remind the victim of the rapist, such as all men or all black people with whom she comes in contact with.
PHASE THREE is a period of resolution and coping with the feelings caused by the rape. This usually includes the help of a professional counselor; the time required to complete this phase varies for each person.
PHASE FOUR is the long-term adjustment of recovery, during which the victim resumes control of her/his life.
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Spouse Abuse
Domestic violence is the number 1 cause of physical injury to women in the United States. Every 15 seconds a woman is beaten, and more than 2,000 are murdered each year by husbands or boyfriends. Men are occasionally victims of their wives' violence, but in 95% of spouse abuse cases, men are the offenders.
Why do men batter?
Spouse abusers are frequently possessive and demanding men who feel the need to control those around them. More often than not, they themselves were victims of violence in childhood. Batterers traits' include:
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poor impulse control and explosive temper. These men rely on violence to express their chronic frustration.
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emotional dependency. batterers often experience bouts of depression that they hide from everyone but their families.
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insatiable ego and exaggerated sense of self-importance that masks feelings of...
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insecurity, inferiority, emotional isolation, and defensiveness.
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unreasonable jealousy about their spouse's activities and friends.
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overly forceful sexual activities, or "punishing" the spouse by withholding sex.
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a belief system that accepts violence as a legitimate way of dealing with feelings.
Why do victims stay?
Spouse abuse is a vicious cycle of tension, criticism, violence, remorse and reconciliation. The effects of psychological degradation and physical abuse are cumulative, so the memory of past violence and threats of future violence become as frightening as the event itself. Its victims often become psychologically paralyzed, feel unable to escape their abuser and, as a result, lose all self-respect.
Women often feel responsible for the violence, blaming the violence on their inability to meet the expectations of the man they love. Their sense of worthlessness is reinforced by the abuse, and they come to believe that they can't live without their abusers. Abused spouses are characterized by:
- unrealistic hope that the beatings will stop and naive belief in his empty promises that he will "never do it again"
- economic and emotional dependency on the abuser.
- depression and high vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse.
- a history of family violence in their family of origin.
- gradually increasing social isolation.
- poor sexual self-image.
- frequent suicidal thoughts and/or a history of minor attempts.
If you or somebody you know is the victim of spouse abuse, it's crucial to realize that wife beating is harmful to the entire family. Staying in an abusive situation prolongs the emotional and physical pain of both victim and abuser and gives children the idea that violence is an inevitable part of male/female relationships.
Will power alone can't change lifelong patterns of abusive behavior, but help is available for abusers to learn to manage anger non-violently; for victims to learn how to get out of the cycle; and for children to realize the violence isn't their fault.
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Child Abuse
Child abuse is a national emergency in the United States. There were nearly 60,000 reported cases of child abuse in 1974. In 1980, That number rose to 1.1 million and by 1990, it more than doubled to 2.4 million.
Child abuse includes any kind of mistreatment that retards a child's physical or psychological development or that directly reduced his/her self-esteem. It can take the form of...
Physical Abuse
Neglect - Deprivation of basic physical human needs such as food, water or shelter. Neglected children often suffer from dehydration, malnutrition, pneumonia and general poor health.
Battering - Actual bodily attacks and beatings, including drowning and choking attempts. Battered kids suffer from bruises, broken bones, internal bleeding, and often death.
Sexual Abuse - One of the most common forms of child abuse is molestation. Four of every 10 girls and one of every 10 boys are victims of child sexual abuse. Most sexual abuse happens between the ages of 9 and 12 (although abuse of 2 and 3 year-olds is not unusual). The abuser is almost always a man - often a relative or family friend, someone the child respects as an authority figure: for 29% of the women who are sexually abused before the age 18, their father was their first abuser.
The trauma of sexual abuse lingers long after the event. Many youngsters develop post-traumatic stress disorder causing nightmares, flashbacks, withdrawal, verbal outbursts, and physical symptoms such as sweating and racing heartbeats. Other symptoms linked to sexual abuse include:
- feelings of self-hatred, helplessness and distrust of others
- anxiety and somatic complaints such as chronic headaches
- depression
- compulsive sexual activity
- amnesia or losing one's train of thought during conversations
Physical abuse contributes to chronic runaway behavior, delinquency and emotional problems. Because of their poor self-image, abused children usually lack assertiveness and believe that they deserve to be punished.
Emotional Abuse
Verbal abuse may not leave physical bruises, but can permanently scar a child psychologically. Parental indifference, emotional neglect and verbal abuse cause lasting psychological damage. Abusive behavior includes;
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Harsh criticism: "Can't you do anything right? You're stupid!"
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Emotional deprivation, i.e., failure to fill a child's natural needs for attention, praise and love.
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Ignoring a child when he's hurt or upset or minimizing his pain: "Stop your whining - you're okay."
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Domination of a child's every action and thought by telling him/her terrible things will happen if he/she explores and violates the parent's orders.
Abused children often mask their pain by bullying their peers and typically grow up with a negative, cynical attitude, expecting little from life and trusting no one.
Violent physical and sexual abuse are committed more often by men, but emotional abuse is committed equally often by women and men.
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